Attack of Negative Thoughts: 3 Ways to Kick Self-sabotage in the Butt

“I’m not smart enough.” “I don’t live in the right zip code.” “I’m not anything special.”  Chances are we’ve all had to deal with these types of negative thoughts when we’ve been given new responsibility, stop a bad habit or implement a good one.

Attack of Negative Thoughts


There was a time in my life when I would be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Have you ever been there? Something amazing would happen, but I just couldn’t allow myself to be in that happy space for too long. “Who are you to be happy?” It’s not a fun place to be.

But we don’t have to stay in this place. Below are three ways you can kick self-sabotage on its butt.

  1. Lose the box. That critical inner voice likes to keep us in a box and pigeonholed. It can be tricky and flood us with thoughts that are seemingly self-soothing. It’s easier, after all, to recognize an internal enemy when it’s yelling at you that you’re stupid or a failure. It’s harder to identify it when it’s whispering thoughts like, “You’re fine on your own. Just be by yourself. Have that extra slice of pie. Smoke one more cigarette. You deserve it. You’re tired. Turn on the TV and kick back. Don’t worry about your goals today.” This soft, parental voice warns us of potential dangers: “Don’t make a fool of yourself. Stay in the background. You’re not getting that promotion. You’ll only be disappointed and humiliated. Do you even want it anyway?” Listening to this voice may feel comfortable at first, but once we give in to bad habits or avoid going after what we want, the self-loathing begins: “What a loser. No one loves you. You’ll never amount to anything. You’re a nobody.” Life is to be lived. Get out the house and try something new.
  2. Fear is a Liar. Fear is usually at the root of what holds us back—fear of the unknown or unfamiliar, fear of failure, fear that our critical inner voice will be proven right or overpower us, fear that we will have too much to lose or that we will have to face pain or rejection. The truth is we are much more resilient than we think. That same inner voice that tells us we can’t handle obstacles feeds our fear. But in reality, life is both joyful and painful. The more fully we live and love the more sadness we are bound to experience – that’s life. Our inner critic shields us from feeling the pains and joysof existence. To face our fears, we must consciously identify and actively ignore this voice. Fear is a liar. Kick its ass.
  3.  Go easy on yourself. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha


Change for me didn’t happen overnight. It’s an on-going process. I had to give myself space and time because it’s tough to unlearn the habits I had been doing for years.


Question: What are some of the ways you kick self-sabotage on its butt?



Attack of Negative Thoughts: 3 Ways to Kick Self-sabotage in the Butt

5 Familiar Skin Problems – And How to Fix Them



Have you ever worried that your skin will age faster because you’re not spending a fortune on posh skin products and dermatologists? I know I have, but thankfully, many experts now say there’s no need. You can now be your own dermatologist for a fraction of the price if you can pinpoint your problem.

In this post, I will list the five most common skin problems, the key ingredients that will bring you results and products that will help you can fix them. That’s right, I’m giving you the solutions to your skin problems.

Let’s get started on this journey to better skin!

1. Lines and Wrinkles

Key ingredient: Retinol: Widely acknowledged as the most effective, over-the-counter anti-aging ingredient, retinol speeds up cell turnover, revealing younger-looking skin.

Find it in: Rodan and Fields REDEFINE Night Renewing Serum (2-month supply, $90), or Dermalogica Multivitamin Power Serum, ($66, com).

Don’t forget: When using retinol, your skin is vulnerable to UV rays, which is a key cause of aging, so you must use a broad spectrum SPF to further protect your skin.

Redefine NRS



2. Blemishes and Acne

Key ingredient: Salicylic acid: Adult acne is surprisingly common, but a salicylic acid cleanser can be effective. Salicylic acid removes dead skin cells, keeps pores clear, and prepares skin for treatment. Note: If your blemish and acne skincare regimen is not working, you may have been misdiagnosed. Try switching to a regimen for sensitive skin.

If you are the least bit sensitive – salicylic acid may be too strong for your skin.

Find it in: Murad Time Release Acne Cleanser ($30,, or Rodan and Fields UNBLEMISH Spot Fading Toner (2-month supply, $41)

Don’t forget: Look for a regimen that will combat the entire acne cycle. Be sure it will unclog pores, clear acne blemishes and calm your complexion to keep pimples, blackheads and post-acne marks from making an unwelcome appearance on your face. Don’t forget to use an oil control SPF to further protect your skin.


3. Dryness

Key ingredient: Hyaluronic acid: This miracle molecule is a lifesaver for dry skin. It replenishes your skin’s natural moisturizing factors for visibly firmer, less-lined skin.

Find it inREDEFINE Overnight Restorative Cream (2-month supply, $73), or Skin Inc. Hyaluronic Acid Serum Replenish ($45,

Don’t forget: You have to be hydrated for hyaluronic acid to do its job, so drink plenty of water. Be sure to use a broad spectrum SPF to further protect your skin.

Redefine NRCream

4. Sensitivity

Key ingredient: Oatmeal: Great if your skin flares up at the slightest provocation. Oatmeal has a soothing anti-irritant effect but also leaves a protective barrier which helps prevent water loss and protect from further damage.

Find it in: Vegecol with Organic Aloe and Oatmeal Soothing Mask ($14.99,

Don’t forget: Less is more when it comes to caring for sensitive skin. Avoid fragranced formulas, toners, alcohol-based formulas, and glycolic acids. Also avoid hot showers, steam rooms, and saunas to minimize facial flushing. Be sure to use a broad spectrum SPF to further protect your skin.

BONUS: Doctors Rodan and Fields developed a regimen that is clinically proven to reduce redness and irritation in as little as 5 minutes. SOOTHE shields against the biological and environmental aggressors that can trigger inflammation, helps fortify skin’s natural moisture barrier, calms visible redness, and reduces irritation so that you can take comfort in having a healthy-looking complexion every day.

5. Pigmentation

Key ingredient: Kojic acid: Age and sun damage can cause overproduction of melanin, leading to pigmentation and dark spots.

Find it in: Skinceuticals Phyto+ ($80,, or Rodan and Fields REVERSE Intensive Brightening Toner (2-month supply, $47)

Don’t forget: Follow with a broad spectrum SPF to further protect your skin.



In my 20’s and 30’s, I was dealing with adult acne and hyper-pigmentation. Now that my skin is acne-free and even-toned, I am dealing with dryness and fine lines. It’s always something but with proper diet, exercise and my Rodan and Fields REDEFINE regimen – I’m looking good!

If you could change one thing about your skin, what would that be?

5 Familiar Skin Problems – And How to Fix Them

Why wait until retirement?



It’s spring! Flowers are in bloom, the air is warm and vitamin K is plentiful. During this time of year, I make it a point to hangout in the park across the street from the building of my 9to5 – even if it’s only five-minutes. Philadelphia is so pretty this time of year.

Yesterday, two women, probably in their 50s, sat next to me on my preferred bench. They were in a lively conversation. It’s kind of hard not to eavesdrop on a conversation when you’re sitting so close. I’m finishing up the last pages of The Calum when I hear, “I can’t wait to retire. There so much stuff I want to do and learn.”

Retire. There was that word again. I swear I heard that word at least ten times in last three days. There is something about that word, about that concept that I just don’t like.

We work until we’re sixty-two because that’s what we are told that we have to do.  So, we do it. Our time and financial freedom belongs to whoever employs us. I’ve been working since I was 14 – my time and financial freedom has always been in someone else’s hands. #NoBueno

Endure bullshit now but after x-amount of years; we can spend our time doing whatever you we’d like. IMO, retirement is a lie. And we shouldn’t use it as an excuse to defer living life.

I want to own my life now, thank you very much. I’d like to work, hang with my family, workout, and travel – when I want.

That’s why I’m so glad I was introduced to Rodan + Fields. This side-hustle is helping me feel in control of my life. I feel like I can begin dreaming again and my time and financial freedom is no longer decided by someone other than me.

It’s was time to get back to my 9to5, but at 43, I’m beginning to own my life.

Why wait until retirement?

3 Things I Learned Since Starting A Home-Based Business

rodan-and-fields-logo blog post

Four months ago I became a direct seller for Rodan and Fields. A lot of people give me the side-eye when I tell them about it but you can’t knock this hustle. This side-gig is blessing me with an extra $400-$600 a month. Cell-phone bills are not cheap and don’t get me started on Comcast! Fix those fees, Jesus.

As I grow in my business the lessons keep coming but these are my top three that I always share with new consultants when they join my team.

1. It seems I know a lot of poor people. Before I purchased my business kit, it seemed like everyone I knew was bragging about the lavish trips they were going to take, or the obscenely expensive designer bags they were going to buy. Then suddenly, after I start my direct-business, no one had any money, no one knew anyone that had money but they were always on the look-out for me if they happen to cross someone with money. I learned early on to never, ever, ever (ever, ever) take it personally. I’ll find the people that will find value in my product.

2. Blood is not thicker than a direct-business. Whether you have a brick and mortar store or a home-based business, when you have goods to sell you go to your personal network first. My personal network of friends and family gave me a false sense of sales because only four people in my vast network purchased any of my goods. To this day, neither my Mom nor my sister has purchased any of my products. I learned early on to never, ever, ever (ever, ever) take it personally. I’ll find the people that will find value in my product.

3. My Why keeps me in the game. Running a business is hard. There are so many things that can and will go wrong. But I’ve found that it’s not about my sponsor, or my support-system or the no’s I’ve been getting on the regular. It’s about why I decided to start this endeavor in the first place. This ride can be an emotional roller-coaster that is why it is best I work on making me the best damn me I can. I’ve learned to stand on my own and align myself with other successful consultants. My sponsor is my sponsor but my success is on me – my why. I’ve even begun looking at “no’s” as not a bad thing. The more no’s I get, the better – that means I’m more active…and there will be a yes coming my way soon enough. I will find the people that find value in my product as well as in the business opportunity.

So, there you have it. Business, like life, is about how you deal with adversity. Don’t give up and stay in the game.


3 Things I Learned Since Starting A Home-Based Business


I hated podcasts. Up until a few months ago, I never listened to them because I didn’t think they had any significance. The only people I thought gravitated to podcasts were hipsters or suburbanites and Lord knows I don’t have too much in common with those demographics. I was a podcast bigot and my feelings ran deep.

“Everyone Hates Chris” was the catalyst that changed my stance on podcasts. Not the show, the producer – Ali LeRoi. I am a huge fan of his. HUGE. And when I discovered he had a podcast with Owen Smith (remember that funny State Farm commercial?) those prejudices went out the window! Yo, their interview with Todd Bridges was nothing short of AMAZING!

This podcast was like my gateway drug podcast. I found myself listening during my commute into work, listening while I worked, listening while I exercised, while I cooked dinner – whenever, wherever, I was listening. And when it clicked that I can learn stuff listening to these shows – my world opened up. I have over 85 podcasts in my playlist – and I’ve only been an active listener for four months.

I’m listening for entertainment, personal development as well for developing strategies for my network marketing business. I heart podcasts. I feel like I need a t-shirt or something declaring my love.

Anyway, these are my top six favorite podcasts (and they are in no order):

  1. Alias Smith and LeRoi podcast. Listen NOW. Two of the funniest, most connected dudes in the business!
  2. Amy Porterfield podcast. She is a social media strategist that worked with Tony Robbins and I heart her so much!
  3. This Is Your Life podcast. Michael Hyatt has become my virtual mentor as I begin my entrepreneur journey. His podcasts are very helpful!
  4. Street Smart Wealth podcast with Jackie Ulmer. A network marketing business opportunity was introduced to me and I wanted in but I needed to learn about the biz – she has great tips and she walks you through each step.
  5. StarTalk podcast with my main-man, NdGT. A place where science meets comedy and pop culture – a it’s a winner!
  6. The Chalene Show with Chalene Johnson. Leadership and life coach…and she is the bomb!

What podcasts are you listening to? I’m always looking for new shows to add to my ever-growing playlist.

Happy Listening.



Breaking the chains

I came across this image yesterday while wasting time waiting for a bus.


I’m not surprised I answered yes to all but one question. I have been consuming larger amounts of sugar than usual.

Believe it or not, but there was a time when I was “off” breads, pastas, white potatoes, white table sugar and caffeine but going through chemo last year flipped my brain around. My body was rejecting the foods I should have been eating and craving the foods I shouldn’t have been eating. But it is what it is – today I’m cancer-free and I get another shot at breaking these damn chains.

Here’s to day 1 of a 21-day sugar detox.

Pray for my son, y’all.

Breaking the chains

Fact vs. Fiction 

Derm RF - Rodan + Fields


When it comes to skincare, there’s a lot of confusion out there. We’ve created this Derm RF column to help you clear up the confusion so you can make every day count when it comes to caring for your skin.

Fact or fiction? Facial exercises will lift my skin .

DermRF_FactFiction_021815 (6)

Fiction. Gravity is constantly tugging on our skin, and while a stack of weights may work great for toning your biceps, facial exercises can actually have the opposite unwanted effect of enhancing your wrinkles.

Your face contains 44 muscles that are constantly contracting and relaxing. These muscles are connected to your skin, so every time they move, the skin moves with them. When you sip, laugh, cry or speak, your expressions etch indelible marks across your forehead, around your mouth, between your brows and around the perimeters of your eyes. Over time, these repeated motions lead to deep lines and…

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Fact vs. Fiction